Journal

I have a lot of resentment for the fact that I feel like I’ve surrounded myself with people who are deferring the start of their lives. I’m resentful because I know I’ve done the same thing myself, and may be doing the same thing right now. The resent for them is just resent of myself.

I’ve rarely felt like there wasn’t someone or something in my life that I have to consider when making decisions. First my parents, which I immediately replaced with girlfriends. Even girlfriends who care surprisingly little about what I do still reign over me in my head.

I’m not sure I ever learned how to make my own decisions. Part of me worries I don’t want to. Once I do, I’ll only realize that nothing much changes.