Journal

I am looking to create adversaries in my life, because as soon as there’s no adversary, as soon as there’s nobody and nothing standing between me and that blissful happiness I have always deserved, I’ll have to face up to the fact that the blissful happiness doesn’t exist. Once I face the fact that there are no impediments to me creating a perfect life, I have to admit a perfect life doesn’t exist.

I’m not sure why I think this perfect life exists. Why I’m convinced this bliss exists, and I just don’t have access to it. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced it through drugs, though even that I doubt, because even at my most lubricated, I can generally keep things in context. Perhaps it’s from growing up on social media, seeing others’ curated lives and needing to compare.