The phrase “chosen family” is hard for me to hear. In my experience—specifically, how I’ve used or wanted to use the phrase in the past—it feels like a lie I tell myself, in hopes of convincing myself that I really can replace my family.
Those who I’d call my chosen family are running, too. What happens when they mend things with their family? I’m left alone again.
Nobody can replace your family. Whether biological or adopted or something in between. The connection of being raised by and around those people is just too strong. This isn’t to imply that those relationships are always good, and always worth preserving. That’s certainly not the case. It is just to say that it’s not healthy to lie to yourself; it’s not healthy to tell yourself that the hole left by your real family is fully filled by your “chosen family”. By the time your chosen family fills that hole, they’ve likely become your real family—your spouse or partners, for example.
I am just suggesting that you feel the hole, mourn it, learn to live with it, or even mend it. Don’t ignore it and pretend like you don’t feel it because you’re fulfilled with your “chosen family”, who themselves will soon start their own real families and leave you alone.